Elisabeth elliot

by Donna Marshall

Why?

Why did my All Knowing, Sovereign and Loving God allow me to meet Elisabeth Elliot?  She is probably the only person I ever really "idolized" in my life.

Having moved, in my early 20s, from mainly reading fiction into nonfiction, I devoured biographies and autobiographies of Christian missionaries and church giants. One of my first books was Through Gates of Splendor in which Elisabeth recounts her early life and work with her husband Jim Elliot and his death by the Auca Indians of Ecuador.

At about 12 yrs of age, I told God, during my "salvation experience," I would go anywhere he asked me to go. I also asked for forgiveness of my sins somewhere in there, but I knew I was going to go  "somewhere else" than where I was.   What I thought  was the exciting, “living somewhere else,” life of the missionaries was always in my mind.

Being introduced to a couple who were missionaries to New Guinea, I thought, that would be an exciting life. Anyway I knew I was going to Africa to study apes one day, so let’s throuw in a little mission work.

After the birth of our 4th child (hey Jonathon) we found out Elisabeth was coming to speak at a Christian college near where we lived at the time. Robert kept the kids, including the infant, and sent me off to here my hero speak. I was still completely enamored.

Over 10 years ago, we found ourselves in Massachusetts, where Elisabeth Elliot lived. Robert found her phone number and called to ask if we could take them to dinner and visit. Yeah, we do things like that.  When her husband, Lars, said absolutely, I felt as if we had randomly called the pope and asked for a quick visit to chat.

We are ushered into a nice, but moderate home, walked through a hallway and there she was, sitting in a rocking chair, looking out a huge floor-to-ceiling window.  The view was of the ocean, waves crashing on the rocks below.  Above the window was a small written plaque that read, "My God made the ocean: and the ocean is BIG.”  I went to say hello and immediately realized she was not present in her mind. She smiled at me; I felt so awkward. Now what do I say?!

Lars suggested we go eat and I sat in the back of the car with her. She asked who I was and did I have children. I'm not sure how long she remembered what I said but I filled the air with some words, all the while wondering, why, why God, why did you allow me to meet Elisabeth and have no chance of a conversation.

At the restaurant,  Lars stepped away from the table and I frantically asked God, "what do I say?"  He told me to say whatever I was going to say even if she could understand me, because she will know in Glory what was said.  So I told her of how her writings, teachings, and even her life's witness had helped me to know God and myself better. I told her how much her life had been an example of being a Godly woman to me and that I had tried to emulate her. I said, thank you. She looked at me attentively, smiled, and said nothing. She died in 2015.

Through all these years since I have asked God that same question, "Why?"  Why did He allow me to meet her?  And, yes, with some frustration.

I have now read Ellen Vaughn's biography of Elisabeth and my take away was that Elisabeth was just another very human person;  her fears, trials, and struggles were common to all of us.  What set her apart was her determined obedience to her beloved God and her calling to find and teach the truth, always as it was revealed in God's Word. I want to emulate that very much. I fail so often, but I've known God's forgiveness, His closeness, and His faithfulness to keep guiding me.  I Practice the Presence of God (by Brother Lawrence), I "do everything as unto the Lord",  however seemingly small the task, I constantly ask for faith to accept His Sovereignty, His will.

I have learned through many hard lessons, pain and tears,  that I am not God. I've done a terrible job at trying to be my own god;  hurting myself and those around me. Submission, humility and obedience are what He asks of me. Even though Elisabeth hardly spoke a word to me,  her face was filled with peace and calm. A calm that comes only from God living through her. To be able to witness this was an incredible gift from Him. The answer to "Why?" was given in that moment.  If ever my mental faculties slip away from me,  I pray those attributes are what remain.

In one of  Elisabeth's later teachings she advises, “Trust in God's Presence,  Trust in God's  Sovereignty,  Trust in God's love.”  Enough said. Now I walk these mountains as “Much Afraid” did,  in Hinds Feet On High Places;  I offer the sacrifice of self to Him regularly, and find peace as He reveals the next step.

BTW- I have walked in deserts, on mountains, on glaciers , in jungles, dense forests, in the suffocating cities of India, the palaces of Europe and the slums of Peru and Cuba. I've held a half naked (the half that would have been nice to have been covered) baby human and a baby sloth in the Amazon.  I've "kissed a cod," and eaten cod tongues and whale blubber, (I recommend neither.) I've experienced 32 different modes of transportation, including a camel and an open biplane. And, as per my salvation commitment, I have gone "wherever He wanted me to go."

“My God made this world; and the world is BIG."

Thank you God, for allowing me meet Elisabeth Elliot.